What's wrong with me?

Facebook is no longer be with me...
And I have forgotten that I actually still 'bond' with blogspot...
Plan to post something here...
But I have too much to express...
Just make some selection...
Well, this semester, I have such a miserable days...
I don't know what's the reason...
Always appear in my mind is the bad thoughts...
I m trying to make the days not so annoying...
But still, I failed to make it...
Lingering between the misery, I m still in the maze...
KNS&^%$#@...
I really want to shout out a lotttttttttttttttsssssssssssssssssssssss of bad words...
3 years already gone, yet, I still apply the same thoughts...
Why can't I change my mindset?
Why don't I love my age and my life?
Why m I keep on blaming?
Why don't I reflect myself?
A lecturer asked me today: "Why have you turned into a quiet person in this semester?"
Ya, a good question...
Me too don't know how to answer about it...
My miserable thoughts have changed my mouth into steel...
Hard and heavy...
Sometimes I feel like my speeches are pointless...
And I even have a hard time to organize a phrase...
I have some curiosities in myself too...
"What's wrong with me this semester?"
"Do I really want to be cool and calm?"
"Do I try to avoid revealing by people?"
I m not trying to find out the answers...
Because it maybe too hurts...
All I want is --->

I

Need 

Breathing